I love the story “One at a Time,” by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, published in Chicken Soup for the Soul.
They tell the story of a friend who was walking along a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. In the distance, he noticed another man. As he drew closer, he saw the local man repeatedly bending down, picking something up, and throwing it into the ocean.
Again and again, he continued doing the same thing.
As our friend came closer, he realized that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed onto the beach and throwing them back into the sea, one at a time.
Puzzled, our friend approached him and said, “Good evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing.”
“I’m throwing these starfish back into the ocean,” the man replied. “You see, it is low tide right now, and all these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don’t throw them back into the sea, they will die here.”
“I understand,” our friend replied, “but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can’t possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don’t you realize that this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all along this coast? Can’t you see that you can’t possibly make a difference?”
The local man smiled. He bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the sea.
Then he replied, “I made a difference to that one!”
How Can You Make a Difference?
In order to care for others, we must first make sure that we are taking care of ourselves.
Jesus modeled self-care for us.
Luke 5:15–16 says:
“But the news about Him was spreading even farther, and great multitudes were gathering to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.”
After a long day of being with His disciples, teaching, and performing miracles, what did Jesus do?
He withdrew to spend quiet time with the Father in prayer.
With so many people surrounding Him and asking for His help, Jesus still took time to be alone with God. Perhaps some people were disappointed when He left the crowds. They wanted their needs to be met. But Jesus knew the source of His strength and power.
He remained connected to that source so that He could continue helping others.
Therefore, the first thing we must remember in caring for ourselves is this:
Spend Time with the Father
Set aside time each day for Scripture reading and prayer.
Our source of strength and power comes from God. Through His Word, we receive guidance and direction. We learn to listen for His voice and to recognize His presence in our daily lives.
Martha Stout said:
“The more fully we experience the gentle touch of Christ upon our own lives—loving us, forgiving us, healing us—the more gentle we will become with each other.”
When we care for ourselves by spending time with the Father, we become better able to care for others.
Do You Have “Starfish People” in Your Life?
Think about the people around you—your friends, family members, coworkers, or ministry associates.
They may not be in desperate circumstances. Yet they may feel stranded by the circumstances of life.
Some people are easily overlooked. They may be lonely. They may need a personal touch more than anyone else, even though they may believe they do not need help at all.
These are the people Jesus noticed.
Right now, think about the people in your life. Keep them in your mind.
As you spend time with the Lord in prayer and in reading His Word, pay attention to the names He places on your heart.
Perhaps they are your “starfish people”—people who could be encouraged by a personal touch from you.
Love God and Love Others
In Matthew 22:36–40, Jesus was asked:
“Which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”
Then He added:
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Love is the foundation of everything God asks us to do.
The Scriptures give us many instructions about how we should treat one another. There are numerous “one another” passages in the Bible. Here are just a few:
- Colossians 3:13— Forgive one another.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11— Encourage one another.
- Ephesians 4:32— Be kind to one another.
- James 5:16— Pray for one another.
- John 13:34— Love one another.
Love can be expressed in many different ways.
The PACE model of Lay Pastors Ministry provides a simple way of caring for others:
- P — Prayer:Pray for and with people.
- A — Availability:Be available when people need you.
- C — Contact:Maintain regular and meaningful contact.
- E — Example:Be an example of God’s love.
It is a simple but powerful way of reaching out to others.
God’s Love with Skin On
Melvin Steinbron, in his book Can the Pastor Do It Alone?, challenges us to become “God’s love with skin on.”
Ginger Scott was a young nurse and a member of my church who became a lay pastor.
As she reached out to the people entrusted to her—praying for them and with them, being available to them, regularly contacting them, and serving as an example of God’s love—she discovered that she herself received great blessings from being a lay pastor.
One of the people assigned to her was a woman named Margie. Margie’s husband had recently died, and soon afterward, her cancer returned.
Ginger came alongside Margie. She contacted her, supported her, prayed with her, and reminded her how deeply God loved her.
Several days after Margie died, I received this letter from Ginger.
Dear Marie,
Over the last few days, I have spent a lot of time thinking about Margie. She was such a special lady.
I thought back to when you first asked me to consider being her lay minister. I had to pray seriously about it because I was not sure whether I could take responsibility for another person.
But when you told me that she had recently lost her husband and that she was also facing cancer, I thought I might be able to relate to her and feel comfortable spending time with her.
Little did I know how much I would be blessed.
Margie let me love her.
That meant so much to me.
It is amazing how God’s love can bind two strangers together in such a short time. Margie shared her heart with me—her sadness, her hopes, her fears, and her dreams.
Sometimes she would call and simply say, “I just wanted to tell you something,” or, “Can you talk?”
I remember one occasion when I stopped by her house unexpectedly with a surprise for her. When she opened the door, she began to cry and said:
“You don’t know how much I need you right now, but I talked myself out of calling you.”
There were many times while she was in the hospital when she would let me crawl into the bed beside her and simply hold her.
We cried, laughed, talked, and prayed together.
But most of all, she let me love her.
She will never know how much I needed to love her.
It had been years since I had been able to love someone without the fear of rejection. But with Margie, I always knew that she would love me in return.
Marie, thank you for asking me to become her lay minister, because as a result, I experienced what it means to become “love with skin on.”
“Love with skin on.”
What a wonderful description of a lay pastor.
Being a lay pastor involves building a caring relationship with another person. It means getting to know someone on a deeper level.
When we make the effort to truly know another person, we are saying:
“You are valuable to God, and you are valuable to me.”
“I am here for you.”
“You matter.”
“I place a high priority on getting to know you better.”
We may not be able to help everyone.
We may not be able to solve every problem or meet every need.
But we can make a difference in the life of one person.
Like the man on the beach, we may not be able to save every starfish.
But when we reach out with prayer, availability, contact, and the example of God’s love, we can make a difference to someone.
And sometimes, making a difference in one life is enough to change a life forever.
One life at a time. One person at a time. One act of love at a time.
What Does a Lay Pastor Do to Build Relationships?
Let us look more deeply at the acronym PACE and how it helps lay pastors build meaningful relationships with the people in their care.
P — Prayer
As lay ministers, we are called to pray regularly for the people in our flock. Faithful prayer creates deeper communication because, as we pray, we desire to know our families better and understand how we can pray for them. Prayer is the foundation of caring ministry.
We saw the power of prayer when one of our lay pastors realized that a family in his care was experiencing serious trouble at home. The lay pastor stayed in close contact with the family and prayed diligently for them.
Unfortunately, the couple eventually divorced. However, the lay pastors continued to pray for and reach out to both of them. About a year later, after receiving counseling, they were reconciled. Several months later, they remarried.
They later shared their story with our congregation—telling how their lay pastors loved them and prayed for them during that difficult time. They believed that the faithful prayers, love, and commitment of their lay pastors played an important role in bringing about reconciliation.
When we pray faithfully for people, we become more deeply connected to their lives.
A — Availability
Availability means, of course, being present during an illness or a crisis. But does it mean more than simply giving our time?
Franklin Graham, in his book Living Beyond the Limits, says that availability means being willing to start where you are, use what you have, and do the best you can.
If that is our attitude, then Ephesians 3:20 reminds us that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.
It is not our ability, but our availability, that God desires.
When we make ourselves available to Him for ministry, He provides what we need. We do not have to possess every gift or every answer. We simply need to be willing to say, “Here I am, Lord. Use me.”
C — Contact
Contact means maintaining a consistent relationship with the people entrusted to our care.
The commitment of at least one contact each month should be considered a minimum. Regular contact may be made through a telephone call, letter, email, or other means of communication.
A home visit should ideally be arranged within the first 30 days after an assignment is made.
The important thing is to maintain consistent contact in order to build a genuine relationship.
There will certainly be difficult situations in which we need to provide comfort and encouragement. But we also have opportunities to share in the joyful moments of people’s lives—the birth of a baby, a wedding, a job promotion, or retirement.
Regular contact is crucial to building strong and lasting relationships.
E — Example
An example communicates in a powerful way—sometimes more powerfully than words.
A little child was attending a revival meeting. Each night, she listened carefully as the invitation was given to ask Jesus into her heart.
After the service on the third evening, she approached the preacher and asked, “Was Jesus a big man?”
The preacher replied that we do not know exactly how large Jesus was, but since He was a carpenter, He was probably strong and physically fit.
The little girl then asked, “If I ask Him into my heart, will He stick out?”
The preacher wisely replied, “I certainly hope so.”
Does Jesus stick out in your life?
Can other people see evidence of Him in your words and actions?
Being an example of God’s love means allowing people to see Jesus through the way we live.
I live about 100 miles south of Birmingham, Alabama. As a child, whenever I visited the city, I always looked for the large statue on top of the mountain overlooking Birmingham. It is called Vulcan, named after the Roman god of fire.
At one time, Birmingham was called the “Pittsburgh of the South” because of its steel production. The area contained everything necessary for making steel—dolomite, coal, and iron—and steel became the city’s major industry. For that reason, the enormous Vulcan statue was constructed as a symbol of the city.
But farther down the mountain, at a busy intersection, there is another statue—a smaller one of a man kneeling. He was known as Brother Bryan, a Presbyterian preacher.
Whenever he saw someone who was cold, he would take off his coat and give it to that person. He would take money from his own pocket to buy food for those who were hungry. People often saw him on the streets of Birmingham, kneeling down and praying with others.
People said that being with Brother Bryan was like experiencing the presence of Jesus.
Brother Bryan is gone now, but his statue still stands at that intersection, and his example continues to live in the lives of the people he touched.
Let me ask you:
What are you leaving behind?
What are you doing that will last for eternity?
Is your PACE one that reaches out to others with compassion?
Is your example one of “love with skin on”?
We once had a man on our staff who shared a devotional message. He said:
“Eleven years ago, I was sitting in a prison cell, serving a life sentence, and Jesus walked by.”
That certainly caught our attention!
He continued, “Jesus walked by in the form of a man—a member of our church, a lay pastor who visited people in prison.”
That lay pastor witnessed to him, and his life was changed.
And do you know what happened?
That prisoner was eventually released. Today, he is an ordained minister in Alabama and has a ministry serving prisoners in the area.
Do you know how Jesus comes to people today?
He often comes through people like you and me.
Loretta Girgartis once said:
“If someone listens or stretches out a hand, or whispers a kind word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen.”
That is true.
Our lives are often touched by the little things that people do for us.
A listening ear.
A helping hand.
A kind word.
A faithful prayer.
A compassionate presence.
These seemingly small acts can make an extraordinary difference in someone’s life.
This is the heart of PACE.
We pray for people.
We make ourselves available to them.
We maintain regular contact with them.
And we become an example of Christ’s love.
Through these simple but powerful actions, lay pastors build relationships, care for people, and allow Jesus Christ to become visible through their lives.
Now, let us look at some of the personal qualities we bring to a ministry of caring—qualities that can make a lasting difference in the lives of others.
Be a Person of Perseverance
Perseverance is defined in Webster’s Dictionary as persisting in or remaining constant to a purpose, idea, or task despite obstacles. Hebrews 10:36 tells us:
“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”
The quality of perseverance embodies courage, steadfastness, and determination. Perseverance keeps us in ministry when we feel like giving up.
I saw perseverance in action a couple of years ago. My grandson, who was ten years old at the time, was running in a two-mile race. The race was organized to benefit the Boys and Girls Club of the city—a very worthy cause. There were about sixty-five entrants of all ages, and medals were awarded to the winners of different age groups.
My grandson won his age division with a time of fifteen minutes and sixteen seconds for the two miles. That is a 7:38-mile pace! He came in eleventh overall.
I was very proud of him.
But there was another person who inspired me that day. He was the man who came in last.
He was eighty-nine years old and walked with a cane. His time was a little over fifty-four minutes for the two miles. Yet his perseverance to complete the race—to stay the course—was truly admirable. His determination to finish, regardless of where he placed in relation to others, was inspiring.
That was the first race he had ever entered.
When he was asked why he had entered the race, he simply replied:
“I believed in the cause. I believed in the cause.”
Do you believe in your ministry?
Do you believe in what God has called you to do?
Are you faithful to that calling?
Are you willing to persevere—to go the distance and make a difference?
Perseverance is definitely a quality that will keep us faithful in ministry.
Be a Giving Person
Give with love and a cheerful heart. No matter how big or how small the gift, we can give joyfully. God can take even the smallest gift and use it in powerful ways.
A sobbing little girl stood near a small church after being turned away because it was “too crowded.”
“I can’t go to Sunday school,” she sobbed to the pastor as he walked by.
Seeing her shabby and unkempt appearance, the pastor understood what may have happened. Taking her gently by the hand, he led her inside and found a place for her in the Sunday school class.
The child was deeply touched. That night, she went to bed thinking about the many children who had no place to worship Jesus.
Some two years later, the child died in one of the poor tenement buildings where she lived. Her parents called for the kind-hearted pastor who had befriended their daughter to make the final arrangements.
As her poor little body was being moved, a worn and crumpled purse was found. It appeared to have been retrieved from a trash heap. Inside were fifty-seven cents and a note written in childish handwriting:
“This is to help build the little church bigger so more children can go to Sunday school.”
For two years, she had saved her money for this offering of love.
When the pastor tearfully read the note, he immediately knew what he needed to do. Carrying the note and the little worn purse to the pulpit, he told the congregation about the girl’s unselfish love and devotion. He challenged his deacons to begin raising money for a larger building.
But the story did not end there.
A newspaper learned about the story and published it. A realtor read the article and offered the church a parcel of land worth many thousands of dollars. When he learned that the church could not afford it, he offered to sell it to them for fifty-seven cents.
Church members made generous contributions. Checks began arriving from far and wide.
Within five years, the little girl’s gift had helped generate $250,000—a huge amount of money at that time, near the turn of the twentieth century.
Her unselfish love had produced an extraordinary harvest.
Giving from your heart simply says:
“I will give you what I have—with love.”
I saw this beautifully illustrated a few years ago when I was a kindergarten teacher.
It was the last morning before the Christmas holidays, and the noise level in my classroom was high. My excited five-year-old students could hardly contain themselves. Many of the children had brought gifts for me, and my desk was covered with packages of different sizes wrapped in festive paper.
Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned and saw Jeremy. His bus had just arrived.
Jeremy lived quite a distance from the school and came from a poor family. He reached for my hand and pressed into my palm a warm, moist penny—the smallest coin in American currency.
Then, with a big, wide smile, he said:
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Parma.”
As I looked at him through tear-filled eyes, all the brightly wrapped gifts on my desk seemed to pale beside that single penny.
That penny had been tightly clutched in his little hand during the long bus ride.
It was a treasure to him.
And yet, he had given it cheerfully and willingly.
I hugged Jeremy and silently prayed that I might have the same grace of giving that this child had demonstrated—giving unselfishly, joyfully, and from a cheerful heart.
He gave what he had.
You never know what kind of ripple effect you may have in another person’s life when you simply give what you have.
All of these qualities I have mentioned are gifts from the heart. They let people know that they are important through the small things that we do.
Your ministry makes a difference.
A word of encouragement.
A note of hope.
A positive attitude.
An example of perseverance.
The giving of yourself, your time, and your resources with a cheerful heart.
And finally, being a person who comes alongside another.
Coming Alongside Another
I want to close with a powerful picture of how we can make a difference when we come alongside another person—when we become involved in their lives.
It is the story of the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona, Spain.
The spectators who were there witnessed a living picture of love and encouragement.
That year, Derek Redmond of Great Britain was pursuing his lifelong dream of winning a gold medal in the 400-meter race.
When the gun sounded for the semifinals, Derek knew that he was running the race of his life.
Then, tragically, he tore his right hamstring and fell face down on the hard surface of the track.
But by a sheer act of determination, he struggled to his feet and began painfully hopping toward the finish line.
Suddenly, a large man wearing a T-shirt ran out of the stands. He pushed past the security guards and made his way toward the wounded runner.
It was Derek’s father, Jim Redmond.
Jim threw his arms around his son and began helping him toward the finish line.
What a powerful picture of encouragement.
What a beautiful example of coming alongside another person.
And isn’t that one of the greatest ways we can demonstrate God’s love?
To be with another person in their difficulties.
To stand beside them in the trials of life.
To walk with them when the journey becomes painful.
Derek Redmond did not win the gold medal that day.
But he walked away from that race with something deeply precious—the assurance of a father who loved him too much to remain in the stands and simply watch his son suffer.
His father came down from the stands.
He entered his son’s race.
Can you be that kind of person?
Can you allow God to use your hands and your feet to come alongside someone else?
Can you model the love of our heavenly Father—a Father who loves us too much to simply look down from heaven while we fall and fail?
Our heavenly Father is willing to enter our race.
He runs beside us.
He walks with us.
He strengthens us.
And He remains with us every step of the way until we are safely home.
May we become people who make a difference in the lives of others.
May we be people of encouragement.
May we be people of perseverance.
May we be people who give with joyful and generous hearts.
And may we be people who are always willing to come alongside someone in need.